Thursday, November 24, 2016
I am going to be raw,
I am struggling, I am struggling heaps with this move, with the girls having chicken pox,
with just doing everything mostly on my own.
Struggling with words said to me, things I forget to do or never get around to do and everything I know I need to do.
With all this sadness I have in my heart, all the over drive thinking.
Tuesday, November 15, 2016
2// Saying goodbye.
3// Attempting to pack.
5// First orientation day.
6// Celebrating turning 2.
Its so hard to get back into the swing of things when you haven't even made any effort in such a long time, I feel so fake with these little updates and I keep wanting to make these regular but I know that it cant be because I have no time with chasing all the three girls, work and trying to maintain our little section of the home we are currently living in somewhat presentable is hard.
Today I had to call in sick due to losing my voice, you know how hard it is to parent kids with whispers, well maybe some kids but differently not mine.
Tuesday, September 27, 2016
I feel so guilty that I have happy moment, that I simply forget what has happened,
tonight is another sad night, a night that guilt comes to play with all the things I could have done,
that I could have made more of a effort, that I could have spent new years eve with him, that I shouldn't have gotten pissed that he didn't come to Bella's party.
Yes I was there to hold his hand towards the end but that wasn't and will never be enough,
I miss his voice.
I should have done more.
Tuesday, September 13, 2016
Keeping stock is my favourite thing to do, I haven't done one in a while.
Making : Toast
Cooking : Pasta with Egg for Chris.
Drinking : Green Tea
Reading: Natalie's Spring Newsletter
Deciding: To book a holiday to Bali for just us two or with the clan.
Wishing: So many little things.
Enjoying: Some alone time.
Waiting: For the sleepy bunny to come hit me.
Loving: My little family I created.
Considering: What to cook for lunch tomorrow.
Buying: Dorothy the Dino concert tickets.
Hoping: A easier recovery for a loved one.
Needing: A hug.
Smelling: Coconut and Lime candle.
Wearing: Cosy jumpers + work pants.
Admiring: My children and the ease they accept things.
Getting: Cold toes this cool spring night.
Disliking: The pile of washing I need to organise and wash.
Opening: Too many bills.
Feeling: A little sad.
Hearing: The rail drops on the tin roof
Forgetting: A little to many things.
Embracing: early morning raises to get my workouts in before work + life.
Labels: keeping stock
Friday, September 09, 2016
I've been struggling so much recently with trying to juggle family and work life.
Its so hard for me to find a balance in them both, to not feel guilty about working all of the hours that I do and then not feel guilty about asking to cut down those hours because I want to be with my children more than to be a work more.
I feel so detached from everything, like I don't fit in with my own family and I don't fit in with the people I work with, it feels like everything always changes in those hours I am in gone and I tend to miss things that are important from both.
I wish the whole balance thing was much easier to figure out.